Where Do Wedding Traditions and Trends Come From?

A special edition, including the best wedding guest dresses of the seasons.

Feb 07, 2025

From the confetti toss to the Champagne toast, ‘the wedding’ is a cultural event that has developed its own customs and celebrations over time. Today, in an increasingly secular society, a wedding is one of the few times many of us take part in a sacred ritual, witnessed by a congregation of our closest friends and family.

Part of what makes planning a wedding so special is knowing that you are continuing a time-honoured tradition, while creating a once-in-a-lifetime moment. The history of wedding trends shows what we all know – Love is as unique as it is universal.

Wedding Ceremonies

Let’s start with the hard facts. The first recorded marriage ceremonies date from about 2350 B.C, in Mesopotamia. Over the next several hundred years, marriage was embraced by many cultures, as a way to ensure that a man's children were his biological heirs. A bride was treated as the groom’s property (often in exchange for a dowry). But by the eighth century, when the church became increasingly powerful, marriage was widely accepted as a sacrament, and husbands were encouraged to show greater respect for their wives. Such unions were still arranged by the couple’s families for political and economic alliances. Love was a threat to such sensible couplings, and most romance stories (like Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet) ended as tragedies. It was not until the Victorian era, when ‘love matches’ became aspirational, that the romance genre blossomed.

At first, all a wedding ceremony needed was the presence of a witness. Then, in the Middle Ages, couples symbolised their commitment through objects, often a ring, called a “wed”. The ring is placed on the left hand’s fourth finger, as the Romans believed a vein ran straight from there to the heart. Rice was (and still is) thrown at the newly married couple for good luck – but the Victorians swapped the messy grains for shredded paper. Now, the most sustainable (and attractive) alternative is flower petals.

The evolution of the wedding ceremony over time, including elopements and civic unions, provides many different options for those who want to make their love official. While there are some great inspirations, the best part is a wedding couple can pick and choose what feels right for their own remarkable union.

Bridal Veils

There are a few different stories about the invention of the wedding veil, with the most sceptical believing it was to hide a bride’s face, until the groom said ‘I do’ in an arranged marriage that was like a vintage version of Love is Blind. Others believe a veil was placed over a bride’s face to modestly hide her beauty and ward off evil spirits.

Now, there are many different veil styles to choose, from a Juliet cap to a Mantilla. While having a blusher or drop veil does create an ethereal effect (while providing some thinly veiled privacy for a bride’s walk down the aisle), many now choose to attach their veil at the back of their head, so they do not need to worry about lifting it over the face. Being such a personal choice, there is no distinctive trend in wedding veils to showcase, but there does seem to be a return to elaborate lace veils and unconventional options.

A Wedding Party

The preference for a bridal party comes from a time when wedding drama was not drawn from mortifying speeches, but mortal danger. Way back when brides were seen as property, they were at risk of being kidnapped by rival grooms who could then claim their dowry. There are records from both ancient Rome and China of women dressed to match the bride as decoys. Given that this is no longer needed, it feels more fitting for bridesmaids’ dresses to celebrate the wearers’ individuality, while still being in similar tones or fabrics to complement one another. This has become increasingly popular in recent years.

Back on the other side of the aisle, groomsmen were chosen to protect the groom, with the “best man” often being the best sword fighter. In my experience, a bridal party still serves as chaperones and champions to the wedding couple, taking the first tentative steps down the aisle, and standing beside them as they declare their vows.

Bridal Gloves

Historically, brides wore gloves at weddings as a symbol of grace. In the Victorian era (where many preconceived notions come from), white gloves were a sign of purity, especially when paired with a white wedding dress. Now, gloves are purely a fashion choice for brides, who may prefer them to a jacket or attachable sleeves as the wedding day turns to night. The most stylish (in recent memory) was Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy’s sheer pair, which she wore in 1996, with a dress designed by her friend Narciso Rodriguez. They have inspired countless iterations.

Wedding Cakes

While a wedding cake is one of the most universally accepted traditions today, it used to be a biscuit (crumbled over the bride’s head to symbolise fertility) in ancient Rome. The classic tiered wedding cake, which we have come to love, entered the wedding cannon after Prince Leopold, Duke of Albany, ordered an exceptionally crafted cake for his nuptials in 1882. Grace Kelly took the wedding cake to another level in 1956, with a six-tier lavishly decorated cake, including a cage for two turtle doves that were released when the cake was cut. The trend for towering cakes has come back around time and again, from Elvis and Priscilla Presley’s sugared-heart cake in 1967 to Marc Jacob’s kitsch tribute in 2019, complete with little Roman pillars.

More recently, the millefoglie has captured many wedding couple’s hearts. Italian for 1000 layers, the cake is often assembled in front of guests to create a fun moment. See also, torching a meringue wedding tart instead of cutting the cake.

There can be many layers to a wedding cake, as there can be many layers to a wedding. What a couple chooses to embrace, culminates in a celebration that feels truly personal within their own place and time.

Shop For All Seasons – The Wedding Guest

Last week, we took a close look at the history of the bridal gown. Wedding guest dresses are more open to interpretation, with many more brilliant colours to choose from. As this was our second-most popular ‘Weddin Season’ poll response, I’ve included a quick shopping edit.

Spring –
If you want to be sure no other guest will show up in the same dress as you, make an appointment with Love James, the vintage occasionwear and bridal salon on Auckland’s Karangahape Road. Here, Lizzie Langridge has created a world-class collection of unique pieces – take this exquisitely simple blue gown, with hand-beaded sequins on lace.

Summer –
Having recently been a bride herself, Caitlin Crisp knows what is expected of a wedding guest dress. Her silk Melanie gown is cut on the bias and features a halterneck with a pastel paisley print. It shows a classic charm with a modern flair, which the Christchurch-born, Auckland-based designer has become known for.

Autumn –
Bernadette is an Antwerp-based fashion label founded by the mother-daughter duo Bernadette and Charlotte de Geyter. I particularly love their taffeta designs, like the Winine, which are an overflowing joy to wear. They have also released a beautiful bridal collection, in recent seasons.

Winter –
When I feel I have nothing appropriate to wear to an event, the UK-based rental portal Hurr is my first point of call. They now have a Resale section, where you can also purchase some of their most inviting listings – take the Ophelia velvet ruched dress from Samantha Cameron’s London-based label Cefinn.

Couture Week Continues…

If you enjoyed last week’s story on couture wedding dresses, you’d be excited to know there is a chance to now own your own piece of fashion history with Le dernier passage – The Didier Ludot Collection. Having curated one of the most significant collections of haute couture in the world, the legendary Didier Ludot is now selling his beloved through Bonhams. While the most extraordinary pieces have now been sold at a live auction, his more affordable pieces are going to the highest bidder online (with the next auction closing on Feb 10). There are some exciting finds for brides, for some reasonably priced estimates (although with all auctions, one must factor in fees and taxes as well as shipping arrangements, unless you can pick up in Paris)!

Lot 122: Jacques Esterel Couture, circa 1968 –
A white crepe cocktail dress embroidered with muslin and sequin bands, and a waist highlighted with a bow. Estimate: €500-€700 (NZD930-NZD1,300).

Lot 38: Lanvin, Prêt-à-Porter, circa 1980 –
From the couture designer that started it all, comes a long, backless ecru crepe cocktail dress. Estimate: €300-€400 (NZD560-NZD740).

Lot 124: Pierre Balmain Boutique, Prêt-à-Porter, 1968/1970 –
Created by Pierre Balmain himself, this wedding dress in white linen and silk has a crew-neck, long flared skirt, and – most importantly – a court coat back. Estimate: €300-€500 (NZD560-NZD930).

Lot 164: Roger Vivier, circa 1960 –
Pair of ivory satin open pumps with pointed toe, small heel, and a stamped signature on the insole. Estimate: €200-€300 (NZD370-NZD560).

What to Watch

Weddings are emotional, and sometimes, those emotions include stress. Consider these iconic wedding comedies as a kind of exposure therapy, helping you visualise the day, as you prepare for any mishaps, and – always – remember to smile.

Four Weddings and a Funeral –
With four weddings in one film, Four Weddings and a Funeral is filled with brides and boutonnières. I loved the drop pearl necklace worn by Andie MacDowell (Margaret Qualry’s mother) at her Scottish Highland wedding, and I’ve found similar at a few London vintage resellers. Writing a speech? Don’t take any notes from Hugh Grant’s best man bravado.

Runaway Bride –
Again, with four weddings (but only one bride), Runaway Bride is a masterclass of what not to do – until the final, hilltop ceremony with close friends only. Horses, and sneakers, optional.

My Best Friend’s Wedding –
Maybe I just love Julia Roberts, or maybe My Best Friend’s Wedding is a subversive film masterpiece. I gleefully rewatched the ‘Say a Little Prayer’ scene, as well as the final scene on the reception dance floor. Her periwinkle bridesmaid gown, and Cameron Diaz’s preppy style, has inspired many wedding wardrobes since.

Father of the Bride –
While I couldn’t convince my Dad to watch Father of the Bride with me, it was reassuring, in a weird way, to know that the pressures on brides to host a picturesque wedding come from a long tradition of tense meetings. Although, I do kind of wish Martin Short was my wedding stylist.

Reading

The antithesis to all this is the new film: Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy. While I don’t think I’ll love this film as much as the original in 2001, I do adore the new cover interview its star Renée Zellweger has done for British Vogue. Her former co-star and dishiest friend, Hugh Grant, seems to have loved serving the tea at Claridge’s.

Any notes on the latest instalment of For All Seasons?